Funny Dirty Sayings That Everyone Went Crazy Over It? How to give your partner What they have always wanted! Despite the fact that we rarely talk about sex in our daily lives, sex is a huge factor in our quest for happiness. Sex is about connection, intimacy, desire and this is why we all love it in and out of relationships. If we don’t talk about sex, we definitely think about it a lot.
Here, we’ve compiled a list of 23 Most Funny Dirty Sayings. Have fun!
1. Funny Dirty Sayings And Quotes –Hot AF
Just finished busting a big ole nut and she says, “Oh I’m so jealous of that condom!”
2. Funny Dirty Sayings With Pictures –Crazy girl
Was with this crazy girl at a BBQ at her parents. Her dad was watering the plants with this garden hose. She says to me “that hose has been deep inside me” with a wink. It was so dirty to see her dad handle the thing and she was visibly happy about it.
Another creepy/filthy thing was when we met on the local playground way past midnight one time in summer. She sucked me off and before I came she said “Show me how it’s done, daddy! Come to mommy!”. On the fucking playground.
3. Funniest Dirty Sayings – Life changer
“I’m going to change your life with this pussy.” _
Unfortunately I immediately got extremely sick with an infection and things kind of fizzled out before my life could be changed.
4. Dirty Funny Sayings And Phrases – Her weird sayings
I dated this super conservative girl and she had a roundabout way of saying things so the weirdest things still give me a boner.
She once told me she wanted me to “Go between the mountains. ” which was her way of saying she wanted me to titty fuck her. We were 19.
5. Dirty Funny Sayings Images – Bold
“I didn’t lose my virginity with you. I lost it earlier that day”
6. Funny And Dirty Sayings – All of them.
First time having sex with this chick she says: “How many fingers do you think I can get in my ass”
7. Funniest Dirty Sayings Of All Time – Didn’t want dad to hear
Went to my Aunts wedding. My cousin, myself and a few of his friends decided to go for a night out around the city centre in our suits/dresses. I hooked up with one of his female friends and she took me to her parents house.
During the act, whilst her parents were in the next room, she said quite loudly “smash my asshole so hard, my dad can hear your balls spanking my pussy.”
8. Talk Dirty Funny Sayings – One way to quiet yourself
My wife was trying to talk to me while I was watching TV. I said can you please be quiet for five minutes?
She replied with “well I can’t talk with your dick in my mouth”
9. Did you hear???
Out at a party, female friend approaches me and another female friend, asking “People are saying we’re gonna have a threesome tonight, did you hear about this?”— FatherKang
10. One last taste
A night full of unprotected anal sex makes this next one so much worse.
I woke up to her sucking my unwashed dick. When done, she said “last night was a combination of ass, cum and shame. I wanted one last taste of that before you left.”
12. Best sex ever
Girl from NYE was probably the dirtiest sex I’ve ever had and she hit me with a few similarly amazing lines.
It started with her saying we shouldn’t have sex that night, which I was totally fine with, so I rolled over and tucked her into my shoulder and started just stroking her hair for a little while.
She grabbed my hand and bit on my thumb. She then started to suck on it a little which made me turn back towards her. She moved to my index finger and tickled the back of her mouth with it, then deep throated my middle finger like it was nothing.
I was rock hard at this point and grinded on her leg. She grabbed my cock and said “Want me to do that to your dick?” to which I said “Yup.” and she replied “Good, I wanna make sure it’s nice and wet before you put it inside me.”
So we fucked, and as I was about to finish she asks me to finish on her boobs. I pull out and climb over her legs to do just that and as I’m reaching to grab my cock and finish. She smacks my hand away and says “Please cum on my tits, I wanna feel your hot cum on my tits!” and starts to jerk me off. The look on her face as I finished made it one of the best orgasms I’ve ever had. The only way I can describe it is that it was like she had the world’s worst sunburn on her chest, and my cum was Aloe.
11. Clean me, baby
She begged me to cover her in my cum, since that was ‘the only way she could feel clean.’
13. I wouldn’t mind at all…
“Would you like it if you came in my mouth so I could spit it back in yours?”
No, actually. No I wouldn’t.
14. I was corrupting her with my dick
Was dating a Christian girl at the time. Mid act she whispered in my ear that she was turning into a “dick crazed heathen”, and that she had to pray everyday to ask forgiveness for loving my “Heathen Cock” so much. Ah the memories.
15. Scary, but sexy
“I’ll kill you if you ever leave me” Came so hard after she said it.
I wonder what that says about me — OGBIGBOY
Had sex with one crazy while she was menstruating say “Fuck me so hard that the bed looks like a crime scene.”
17. Sounds like a sexy marriage
Just shared one on a different post not to long ago. Wife said “Why don’t you just bend me over the couch and fuck me hard”.
Another time she came out to the garage as I was doing some woodworking projects. Chatted for a minute then said, “why are you talking so much and not fucking me?” Picker her up, set her on the work bench and went at it.
Last one, when we just started dating, and had only had sex a couple times we were in bed and fooling around. I was behind her and teasing her a bit when she said “I dont care which, but pick a hole and fuck me”. Great way to tell someone you’re into anal.
18. Horny girlfriend
“I wanna suck your dick till my tongue falls off” __ Funny Dirty Sayings
“I was having a dream i was giving you head and woke up drooling”
19. Water sports
Told her I needed to stop mid furious sex because, suddenly, I was absolutely busting for a piss. She was really close to cumming, so naturally she shouted something like “I don’t care! Piss inside me! Keep going!”
20. Crazy oral
“I want you to make my mouth pregnant” __ Funny Dirty Sayings
21. “Fuck my roommate!”
I had a girl while we were having sex start yelling ” I want you to fuck my roommate. Fuck her in front of me. Fuck fuck fuck her” something long those lines. they share a wall and I know she heard. If only her roommate would have been hot… I’ve got quite a few from her, but that was my favorite. — dickpicmck
22. Give it your best shot
Prior to our wedding night, my future wife said to me “I’m going to fuck your cock off.” Um, yes, please try.
23. Rip the shirt in two
“I want to rip your shirt off and have you do me on the kitchen counter”.
Completely out of the blue, I was talking about being responsible with one’s finances and happened to have sent her a picture of me in a button-down shirt from a recent family get together.
Thanks for reading my favorite Most Funny Dirty Sayings. I wish you a great year and hope you can find these quotes whenever you need a boost, so you can confidently crush every challenge or goal you set for yourself.
You can also share your favorites quotes on facebook or send them to a friend who can use them as encouragement. Thank you!
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