Funny Quotes On Love & Relationship [35 One Liners]

Funny Quotes On Love

Looking for the most funny quotes on love & relationship? Here, we collected the best collection of funny quotes to describe yourself. Check it out!

RELATED: Funny One Liners [35 Most Epic Quotes On Attitude, Life & Love]

1. Don’t judge women by kilos, and you won’t be judged by centimeters.
2. Whats long and hard and has cum in it? A cucumber.__ Funny Quotes On Love
3. There are three kinds of people: The ones who learn by reading. The ones who learn by observation. And the rest of them who have to touch the fire to learn it’s hot.
4. If you can’t say something nice, say it to your husband… he’s not listening anyway.
5. The person who invented the door knock won the No-bell prize.
6. Absolutely furious that a handful of things not suited to my taste are well liked by others.
7. Marriage is the main reason for divorce.
8. How can you tell if a man is sexually excited? He’s breathing.
10. There are no winners in life …only survivors.__ Funny Quotes On Love
11. Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?
12. What do you call a bee that lives in America? A USB.
13. You never realize what you have until it’s gone. Toilet paper, for example.
14. Experience is what you get when you didn’t get what you wanted.
15. We are born naked, wet and hungry. Then things get worse.
16. Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience.
17. What is the difference between men and women? A woman wants one man to satisfy her every need…A man wants every woman to satisfy his one need.
18. There may be no excuse for laziness, but I’m still looking.__ Funny Quotes On Love
19. Diplomacy is the art of sending someone to hell in the way that they are looking forward to it.
20. It takes patience to listen.. it takes skill to pretend you’re listening.
21. Whoever said nothing is impossible is a liar. I’ve been doing nothing for years.
22. Why is “abbreviation” such a long word?
23. Know why Santa always smiles? He knows where all the naughty girls live!
24. Honesty is the best policy but insanity is the best defense.
25. Sex takes up the least amount of time and causes the most amount of trouble.
26. Sex is one of the nine reasons for reincarnation; the other eight are unimportant.
27. Mostly men lie before the elections, sex and after fishing.

Closing words 

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Believe in yourself! Have faith in your abilities! Without a humble but reasonable confidence in your own powers you cannot be successful or happy.

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