One Liners Funny On Money & Women [25 Quotes]

One Liners Funny

Looking for One Liners And Puns on Money & Love? Money – It is said that money can makes the world swing around. I’m not sure that money really matters, but having money will make life easier. Everyone of us need money, and most of us feel we don’t have enough of that. Love and money are often talked about, but in opposite ways. Since long before the Beatles first sang, “Can’t buy me love”, it was said that money cannot buy love or happiness. While it is certainly true that money alone will never make someone fall in love or guarantee the happiness. The left side is right too. Lack of money, being broke and constant worry about how to pay the bills really put significant pressure on both relationship and happiness. Lack of money can easily end both.

Here, we has collected 25 one liners puns on money that will inspire you to really appreciate your hard-earned money.. Check it out!

RELATED: Short Quotes About Love [35 One Liners For Girls]

  1. If you think nobody cares whether you’re alive, try missing a couple of payments.One Liners Puns
  2. A little boy asked his father, “Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?” Father replied, “I don’t know son, I’m still paying.”
  3. I had my credit card stolen the other day but I didn’t bother to report it because the thief spends less than my wife.
  4. Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won’t expect it back.__ One Liners Puns
  5. Retirement is the time in your life when time is no longer money.
  6. What’s the difference between baseball and politics? In baseball you’re out if you’re caught stealing.
  7. Money isn’t everything but it sure keeps you in touch with your children.
  8. If a man talks dirty to a woman, that’s sexual harassment. If a woman talks dirty to a man, that’ll be $6.50 a minute.
  9. I walked past a homeless guy with a sign that read, “One day, this could be you.” I put my money back in my pocket, just in case he’s right.
  10. What is the main difference between men and boys? Men’s toys cost more.
  11. What’s the difference between a paycheck and a penis? You don’t have to beg your wife to blow your paycheck.
  12. What do a grenade and a woman have in common? You remove the ring and your whole house is gone.
  13. What’s six inches long, two inches wide, and drives women wild? Money.__ One Liners Puns
  14. A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
  15. Yes, money cannot buy you happiness, but I’d still feel a lot more comfortable crying in a new BMW than on a bike.
  16. Einstein used science to get laid; that guy is a genius… I’ve been using money.
  17. Behind every successful man, you’ll find a woman who has nothing to wear.
  18. Men are like bank accounts. Without a lot of money, they don’t generate much interest.
  19. Taxes are the price we pay for a civilization. In light of recent results, I want my money back.
  20. I grew up so poor we could only listen to Simon or Garfunkel. __ One Liners Puns
  21. Some people are so poor, all they have is money.
  22. What’s the best part about Valentine’s Day? The day after when all the chocolate goes on sale.
  23. Why can’t the bank keep a secret? It has too many tellers!
  24. Arguing with a woman is like buying a lottery ticket. You know you’re not gonna win, but you’re sure as hell gonna try.
  25. Women are like swimming pools – they cost a great deal of money to maintain, considering the time you spend inside.
  26. People say money is not the key to happiness, but I always figured if you had enough money, you can have a key made.

The seven ages of man: spills, drills, thrills, bills, ills, pills and wills.

Closing words

Thanks for reading my favorite one liners puns. I wish you a great year and hope you can find these quotes whenever you need a boost, so you can confidently crush every challenge or goal you set for yourself.

You can also share your favorites quotes on facebook or send them to a friend who can use them as encouragement. Thank you!

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Believe in yourself! Have faith in your abilities! Without a humble but reasonable confidence in your own powers you cannot be successful or happy.

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