Quote Of The Day

Funny Jokes |Short Text Messages

  • I’ve got the ship, you’ve got the harbor … what say we tie up for the night?
  • It’s no accident that stressed spelled backwards is desserts.
  • Minds are like Parachutes. They work best when open.
  • Why do farts smell? For benefit of the deaf.
  • Why’d the couple stop after 3 children? Cos they heard every fourth child born is chinese.
  • You’re slower than a herd of turtles stampeding through peanut butter.
  • (_!_)An arse (__!__)Fat arse (!)Tight arse (_?_)Dumb arse (_*_)Sore arse (_zzz_)Tired arse (_E=mc2_)Smart arse (_x_)Kiss my arse!!
  • ALGEBRA: A weapon of math destruction.
  • CNN News. Bush orders 15,000 FBI trained dogs to track down Osama. FBI awaiting further orders as one of the dogs is reading this.
  • Dad, what vagina looks like? Before sex: a pink rose with soft lovely pelats and perfum aroma. And after sex? boy, have you ever seen a bulldog eating mayonnaise!
  • Do you ever notice that when you’re driving, anyone going slower than you is an idiot and everyone driving faster than you is a maniac?
  • Friendship is like peeing in your pants. every1 can c it but only u can feel its true warmth. Thank u 4 being the pee in my pants xxxx
  • God made man and then rested. God made women and then no one rested
  • He met a lady while browsing. She unzipped his dotcom when downloading. Since he was virus free he slotted his floppydisk into her hotmail she screamed yahoo!
  • Hi! Please stand by while this program enlarges your penis………………………ERROR: Your penis was not found! Sorry…………..
  • How Dogs and Women are alike….. Neither believe that silence is golden. Neither can balance a checkbook. Both put too much value on kissing.
  • I only have SEX on days that begin with T: Thanksgiving.
  • Tuesday. Thursday. Today. Tomorrow. Thaturday. thunday.. Tevery day!
  • Jesus saves, he shoots, HE SCORES!!
  • Marriage is a three ring circus: an engagement ring, a wedding ring, and suffering
  • News: 3 Chimps escaped from the zoo… 1 was caught watching tv.. another playing football and the third one was caught reading this txt message.
  • What is the thinnest book in the world? WHAT MEN KNOW ABOUT WOMEN.
  • What’s the difference between Margaret Thatcher and Edwina
  • Currie? One screwd the miners, the other screwed Majors.
  • When a man talks dirty to a woman, it’s sexual harassment.
  • When a woman talks dirty to a man, it’s $3.95 per minute.